When my child is crying, my prayers are different. They have a problem and I can’t fix it. As I sit with them, I take it to our Father in heaven. He loves my child more than I do. He has all power at his disposal. The words I pray feel like they really matter.
Prayer is a risk
When I pray with my child, they are listening and watching to see how (and whether) my prayers are answered. These prayers feel like a big risk. It’s as if the next day (because our children usually want quick answers) will see my child’s faith grow or shrink dependent on God’s decision.
Faith in Kids has just recorded a podcast episode with Paul Mallard (author of ‘Invest your suffering’). As we talked about praying in moments of suffering he explained that if your arm was strapped motionless to your side for a year, it would shrivel up, becoming unresponsive. Using your arm daily means it stays strong. Challenging your arm to attempt heavy tasks makes it stronger. God places us (and our children) in difficult situations so that our faith will grow. We have to pray and watch for his purposes to be worked out. It is a risk to pray with our children, but there is no other way forward for a Christian parent.
Pray like a child
God tells us to come to him like a child (Matthew 18:3). Every parent knows how children come with their requests: incessantly! Sometimes politely, sometimes screaming, sometimes through tears, sometimes as a last resort. They need us. They cannot get through a day on their own and they cannot fix all their own problems. We know when to say “Yes”. We know when to say “No” because it is not for their good. We also know when to hold them tight and say, “You’re going to have to wait.” When we pray, we are trusting God to do the same – to say “Yes”, or “No” or “Not right now” according to his perfect wisdom. His answers may need some explaining to our children. And when we are sat together in tears, unable to explain, we find ourselves praying with the father who came to Jesus for his son’s healing, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24) It is alright to weep with our children and say, “I don’t understand, I wish it was different but I trust God.” All of this is how faith is learnt and this is how faith grows.
Learning to pray
We were asked recently by a parent how to teach a child to pray. There are some simple answers like thank God before meals, pray before bed and let them catch you praying (often). It is good for them to learn that prayer is just talking to their heavenly Dad. They don’t need long words, or even whole sentences. They don’t need to pray out loud or be in a special place. Yet prayer is also a discipline that needs to be learnt and practiced. Parents are in the best position to teach children to pray in everyday life. Especially when it’s a risk, when it’s needed most and when we, and our child, have nowhere else to go.
Ed Drew
A version of this article was published in Evangelicals Now.
